Confessions!!
Its at this point of time.........a period when you can just sit back with your laptop....lost in soft song with guitars strumming in your earphones, that I can confes that a guy like me......( a bit confused.....messed up......no balance in the mobile....no pennies in the pockt so nowhere to go)....realises that the only two tings i want right now is either some drinks or my HOME.
i've never missed these two things to such an extent .....
The last two months passed away like in some mystical trance or dizziness......never realised what really was happening...never planned.....life was sooo smooth .....but the only problem is that once you wake up...break that routine...you feel confused...as I am...right now.
We...(body, gupta n me).....bonded together so well whenever it came to enjoying......living the life!! Everyday, right after the lectures got over.......we used to unknowingly hunt out each other......and as a part of ususal routine...headed towards the Beer Shop....not saying a single word ....not even discussing where are we going ......what are we to do....as soon as the car reached in front f the shop..all our muscles used to flitch......as if knowing that the car would stop, got ready for some action. got a few beers .......it never matters about who puts in the money...drinking and pulling the car on africa avenue or towards Priya's.....sit at our holy shrine....on the pavement in front of .........."Passion's my cup f tea".......just talked.....eyed the girls.....getting lost into our own selves ......planning what to eat.....smoking a few cigarrettes ...got back home late at night......trying hard to keep our movements under control.......dropping gupta near his home.....me bidding gudnight to body.....would come back to my flat.....with eyes looking at me.....with a look saying...'aa gaya aajphir pee ke'..... hahahahaha!!
but now i think its time to have some break........try and get out of this routine.....and get things sorted out first.....otherwise the life is going to get a bit too hard to handle...with me ,who has to take 8 exams in the next week....(3 back logs hain us mein se...coz i got debarred in the last trimester.....dont know why...may be coz of not knowing)....with no money since last 1 or two weeks.
I dont know but why but i am missing my home...couldnt go to lko due one or the other resons....firstly was waiting to be placed.....got placed with HDFC Bank....was happy.......socha chalo ab dilli mein hi rahenge......but then one fine morning .....when i had to take (Persuade and take) Pranshu to Gallup..for some work i had committef for.....i called up pranshu........he said that Club Mahindra Holidays aayi hui hai........baith jaa.......i had already missed the ppt....was late ....so my name wasn't there in the list for the GD......i requested the placement guys...to some how let me appear for the GD....they let me in.......then to i didnt even realise .......how easily it all went.....and suddenly i was there with the second job offer...42,276 in hand...confused.......did i make the right decision....certainly it was a better profile to me....good enough salary to start with...but something in me wasn't in place....not convinced....
I called up my father told him this .......probably he hadn't, ever before even heard the name f Club Mahindra....straight asked the location ....i said somewhere down south......the training wud probably be in chennai......he didn't sound too happy...atleast as happy as i was.......said HDFC bhi to badhiya tha....
After that i thought about going to lko....but got busy with the classes to keep up the attendence ......giving assignments.....drinking and passing out.........now even after exams planning to go to shimla.....a project of gallup.....one i dont want to leave...
I was just contemplating about my future......and thought ..how slowly and slowly i wud get far away from my family......disappearing from there everyday life.......routine......there functions.......attending marriages.....guests...festivals....but certainly not from their minds!!
I want my family to remain the way it is.....getting happier and haapier with each passing day......saving for them.....to make their lives better.....to make my parents realise how much do i love them ......respect them....care for them......and OWE them. sometimes i feel the time is more crucial from them....its running too fast for them .......there isnt much time left when they would soo start feeling themselves not so young.......i want them to be able to do all things in life....which they always wanted to do....but could never plan...to be able to spend freely......travel places......see things.....drive luxury cars....my father certainly deserves someting better than a Maruti ...
But the only problem is i need to get planned ....if not serious ........with my life....i think the following lines better describe the state of mind i am right now....
My future shall be bright ......like gold it'll glow,
But how shall i make it.........i still dont know.
i've never missed these two things to such an extent .....
The last two months passed away like in some mystical trance or dizziness......never realised what really was happening...never planned.....life was sooo smooth .....but the only problem is that once you wake up...break that routine...you feel confused...as I am...right now.
We...(body, gupta n me).....bonded together so well whenever it came to enjoying......living the life!! Everyday, right after the lectures got over.......we used to unknowingly hunt out each other......and as a part of ususal routine...headed towards the Beer Shop....not saying a single word ....not even discussing where are we going ......what are we to do....as soon as the car reached in front f the shop..all our muscles used to flitch......as if knowing that the car would stop, got ready for some action. got a few beers .......it never matters about who puts in the money...drinking and pulling the car on africa avenue or towards Priya's.....sit at our holy shrine....on the pavement in front of .........."Passion's my cup f tea".......just talked.....eyed the girls.....getting lost into our own selves ......planning what to eat.....smoking a few cigarrettes ...got back home late at night......trying hard to keep our movements under control.......dropping gupta near his home.....me bidding gudnight to body.....would come back to my flat.....with eyes looking at me.....with a look saying...'aa gaya aajphir pee ke'..... hahahahaha!!
but now i think its time to have some break........try and get out of this routine.....and get things sorted out first.....otherwise the life is going to get a bit too hard to handle...with me ,who has to take 8 exams in the next week....(3 back logs hain us mein se...coz i got debarred in the last trimester.....dont know why...may be coz of not knowing)....with no money since last 1 or two weeks.
I dont know but why but i am missing my home...couldnt go to lko due one or the other resons....firstly was waiting to be placed.....got placed with HDFC Bank....was happy.......socha chalo ab dilli mein hi rahenge......but then one fine morning .....when i had to take (Persuade and take) Pranshu to Gallup..for some work i had committef for.....i called up pranshu........he said that Club Mahindra Holidays aayi hui hai........baith jaa.......i had already missed the ppt....was late ....so my name wasn't there in the list for the GD......i requested the placement guys...to some how let me appear for the GD....they let me in.......then to i didnt even realise .......how easily it all went.....and suddenly i was there with the second job offer...42,276 in hand...confused.......did i make the right decision....certainly it was a better profile to me....good enough salary to start with...but something in me wasn't in place....not convinced....
I called up my father told him this .......probably he hadn't, ever before even heard the name f Club Mahindra....straight asked the location ....i said somewhere down south......the training wud probably be in chennai......he didn't sound too happy...atleast as happy as i was.......said HDFC bhi to badhiya tha....
After that i thought about going to lko....but got busy with the classes to keep up the attendence ......giving assignments.....drinking and passing out.........now even after exams planning to go to shimla.....a project of gallup.....one i dont want to leave...
I was just contemplating about my future......and thought ..how slowly and slowly i wud get far away from my family......disappearing from there everyday life.......routine......there functions.......attending marriages.....guests...festivals....but certainly not from their minds!!
I want my family to remain the way it is.....getting happier and haapier with each passing day......saving for them.....to make their lives better.....to make my parents realise how much do i love them ......respect them....care for them......and OWE them. sometimes i feel the time is more crucial from them....its running too fast for them .......there isnt much time left when they would soo start feeling themselves not so young.......i want them to be able to do all things in life....which they always wanted to do....but could never plan...to be able to spend freely......travel places......see things.....drive luxury cars....my father certainly deserves someting better than a Maruti ...
But the only problem is i need to get planned ....if not serious ........with my life....i think the following lines better describe the state of mind i am right now....
My future shall be bright ......like gold it'll glow,
But how shall i make it.........i still dont know.
Labels: confessions
posted by sanjeev at 6:31 PM
1 Comments:
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