diary continued....

for the kind of person i am ...as in the most unique person in this world like everybody else.......would now go on writing my blogs whenever i am doped or wheneva i feel like ....

its going to be my second persona like everybody else's........not to be told to neone but left open to be discovered by everyone .

there are at times thoughts which come to my mind and simply make their way across....which i dont want to lose.......and which i come across when i am doing nothing just sitting .....listening to music ..not even reading once after all that i have written that what it is....

this is just to keep a track of all those wierd thoughts that i get when i am entoxicated......and did i anywhere between confess to you that i am doped and right now having a few deep breaths of toluene....or korex (whicheva way you ppl know it better )....because there are only very few instances when you actually get that mix....that high..when you are that motivated......when all those positive vibes come to you.

so now i am going to write down whatever that comes to my mind only when i am doped or may be otherwise as well........that challenge for you guyz being that......you should be able to make out which ones i wrote in a state of trance or otherwise........

its now like a dual personality for me...i feel like i am actually two persons..........one who is good , talented, learner, positive, friendly, professional and the other which i am right now erratic....spoilt...careless....indisciplined.....doesn't care about what opinion is been made of him......

i just dont want ne of that thoguht going of that great mind of mine nemore.......i think that the human mind has a great potential ........which needs to be reached out by some external aid in a much better way than it actually is .......its like my mind is overflowing with ideas and i dont find enough typing speed or wordss to type them............btw the i think i am doing good to my natural self by giving it a chance to focus more on consolidating thoughts .....

theree are just few out bursts of these kind for people like me.......dopers as you would classiffy them.....i confess.....thats what it is......confession...something to sound like you are a doper.......i guess confessions looks cool......

now lemme have another joint ........go back to the world of gazhals.....close my eyes...and get lost in an old yet whole new world of mine.....

it slike i feel i have been writing for soo long ...only to realise that all this while while a single track of mehndi hassan was going on there......

would try and be more regular.....

atleast for now its like a mandate for me that if I'm doped i should get back to this space.....even for a sentence or two......

bye

Confessions!!

Its at this point of time.........a period when you can just sit back with your laptop....lost in soft song with guitars strumming in your earphones, that I can confes that a guy like me......( a bit confused.....messed up......no balance in the mobile....no pennies in the pockt so nowhere to go)....realises that the only two tings i want right now is either some drinks or my HOME.
i've never missed these two things to such an extent .....

The last two months passed away like in some mystical trance or dizziness......never realised what really was happening...never planned.....life was sooo smooth .....but the only problem is that once you wake up...break that routine...you feel confused...as I am...right now.

We...(body, gupta n me).....bonded together so well whenever it came to enjoying......living the life!! Everyday, right after the lectures got over.......we used to unknowingly hunt out each other......and as a part of ususal routine...headed towards the Beer Shop....not saying a single word ....not even discussing where are we going ......what are we to do....as soon as the car reached in front f the shop..all our muscles used to flitch......as if knowing that the car would stop, got ready for some action. got a few beers .......it never matters about who puts in the money...drinking and pulling the car on africa avenue or towards Priya's.....sit at our holy shrine....on the pavement in front of .........."Passion's my cup f tea".......just talked.....eyed the girls.....getting lost into our own selves ......planning what to eat.....smoking a few cigarrettes ...got back home late at night......trying hard to keep our movements under control.......dropping gupta near his home.....me bidding gudnight to body.....would come back to my flat.....with eyes looking at me.....with a look saying...'aa gaya aajphir pee ke'..... hahahahaha!!

but now i think its time to have some break........try and get out of this routine.....and get things sorted out first.....otherwise the life is going to get a bit too hard to handle...with me ,who has to take 8 exams in the next week....(3 back logs hain us mein se...coz i got debarred in the last trimester.....dont know why...may be coz of not knowing)....with no money since last 1 or two weeks.

I dont know but why but i am missing my home...couldnt go to lko due one or the other resons....firstly was waiting to be placed.....got placed with HDFC Bank....was happy.......socha chalo ab dilli mein hi rahenge......but then one fine morning .....when i had to take (Persuade and take) Pranshu to Gallup..for some work i had committef for.....i called up pranshu........he said that Club Mahindra Holidays aayi hui hai........baith jaa.......i had already missed the ppt....was late ....so my name wasn't there in the list for the GD......i requested the placement guys...to some how let me appear for the GD....they let me in.......then to i didnt even realise .......how easily it all went.....and suddenly i was there with the second job offer...42,276 in hand...confused.......did i make the right decision....certainly it was a better profile to me....good enough salary to start with...but something in me wasn't in place....not convinced....

I called up my father told him this .......probably he hadn't, ever before even heard the name f Club Mahindra....straight asked the location ....i said somewhere down south......the training wud probably be in chennai......he didn't sound too happy...atleast as happy as i was.......said HDFC bhi to badhiya tha....
After that i thought about going to lko....but got busy with the classes to keep up the attendence ......giving assignments.....drinking and passing out.........now even after exams planning to go to shimla.....a project of gallup.....one i dont want to leave...


I was just contemplating about my future......and thought ..how slowly and slowly i wud get far away from my family......disappearing from there everyday life.......routine......there functions.......attending marriages.....guests...festivals....but certainly not from their minds!!

I want my family to remain the way it is.....getting happier and haapier with each passing day......saving for them.....to make their lives better.....to make my parents realise how much do i love them ......respect them....care for them......and OWE them. sometimes i feel the time is more crucial from them....its running too fast for them .......there isnt much time left when they would soo start feeling themselves not so young.......i want them to be able to do all things in life....which they always wanted to do....but could never plan...to be able to spend freely......travel places......see things.....drive luxury cars....my father certainly deserves someting better than a Maruti ...


But the only problem is i need to get planned ....if not serious ........with my life....i think the following lines better describe the state of mind i am right now....


My future shall be bright ......like gold it'll glow,
But how shall i make it.........i still dont know.

i just dont get this thing...well this is only thing that comes to my mind........after a futile attempt to try and talk to some girl on chat at this hour f night.........but it resulted into frustation rather than fun.........

The few questions that keep haunting me ....and to which i could find no understandable reason are......

1) Why do girls always think of guys as a dumb ......desperate.........bewkoof.....dickhead

2)Why is it necessary for ne girl......i repeat any girl (by this i mean even the ones whom u might never look at twice....had they been in ur class) has to show certain degree f attitude....seems they think thats an integral attribute of being a girl....

3) Why is it that.....even though the i find the girl in delhi chat room.........she has to be from some place in london or LA........dont they have ne body to talk to in those rooms????

4)Why is it that.....whenever you ask a gal for her pic.....she never has ne.......i dont know since when did girls start hating getting themselves photographed??

5) Why is it that if by ne chance the gal agrees to show her pic....it turns out to b some model straight outta some photo shoot.........( I mean i just cant believe that i am so luky to have always found models to chat with

6) Why do almost all the girls i talk to........share their names wid some character outta films or those K soaps.........do their parents always call in THE Ekta Kapoor to suggest name for tese girls ( i mean how could every girl in delhi be either TANYA...or ISHA....or KATRINA......or RIYA ....diya .....jiya etc.)


7) Why is it that they r always ready to say bye at the very instant u say ne f the above said things

8) Why dont i ever find that girl online ever again


if u got answers to ne f these WHYs....then please do do enlighten me on the same.....

Let me make a prediction...
There are moments in your life when you just want to have sex! While you probably know the importance of a relationship or even might be looking for that special someone, there are times when you only want to get laid. That's why it's important to know how to seduce women. Without seduction, you have little chance of having sex. Now many guys understand the importance of seduction, but they don't know where to start. In fact they've probably found that it can be quite difficult to transition from a date to "getting it on" with a woman. If you're one of these guys, then I don't have to tell you that it's frustrating to like a woman but have no clue about how to seduce her. But allow me to let you in on a little secret...

Women like sex as much as we do!

While they pretend to be seduced, they actually probably have as much desire for sex as any man. However they're fairly selective about the manner of their sexual encounters. For instance, women don't like to make the first move. Instead they want to be pursued and desired by men. In essence this means you have to have the courage and forwardness to become a seducer of women. Even if a woman is really into you, sex won't happen unless you make the first move. That means if she's into you there'll be little resistance to your seduction techniques. Now I know you might be one of those guys who is nervous about making the first move. If that's the case, then you can use the following technique for progressing from a date to having sex... It's called 'making a transition' A transition is any point in any moment when you can increase intimacy with a woman. An example would be when you're talking to a woman and start kissing her. There are key points when you're with a woman which provides an opportunity to take things to the next level. The techniques emphasize the importance understanding your transitional point and how to achieve it. To go from meeting a woman to having sex, you have to plan every single escalation point and what you'll do to make it happen. By knowing how to navigate through this process, you'll discover that seduce women is fairly easy! My advice for planning out your transitions is to write down all the times where you encounter a roadblock or stopping point. In order to progress past this point, you have to identify the specific action you need to take. So think of this moment and how you'll handle it! Some examples could include getting a woman's number, setting up a date, initiating physical contact, kissing her and then finally seducing her. As I said before, identify the next step you should take, write it down and figure out how to make that transition. Then put it to memory. By planning out your transitions, you'll be able to rapidly seduce her with confidence and ease. Understanding how to seduce women is a skill which can be learned. If you understand these transition techniques, you'll be able to seduce women quickly and effortlessly.

Hi to all, welcome to my world all..........uncensored!

Well i xactly have no idea hopw a blog shud be . should it be like a book, a diary or ...or something else........
Neways I would rather go for a more narrative kinda style........the one people follow in informal coversations.
Thers nothing much to talk of the present.but the past is worth discussing. i went a series of dramatic, comic and tragic situations.

I still cannot forget the night when i was at my grlffren's house for the whole night. i was high on dope, alreday taken a joint or two, tooka half bottle of vodka, though my girlfren never drinks.